Images of Melania Trump have traipsed through my mind lately, along with the wish I could call her, like the besties we are, and chat for awhile. I need some fashion advice, and I doubt I’m the only one.

I’m just a mother of the engaged, but soon I will be a mother of the bride, and I have been looking for a dress. I thought I’d pass along my own (very) little advice – not to brides nor grooms, not about ceremonies nor decorations; no, nothing nearly as important or interesting; but about shopping for a mother of the bride dress.

You don’t think you need advice? Listen, I’ve discovered an entirely here-to-fore invisible population of desperate mothers of the bride/groom out there; and – to the woman – they’re willing to share their opinions, asked or not. These women who, aside from contracting a helpfully violent case of dysentery and losing 15 pounds in a week, are simply hoping to find something that will make them look like they haven’t given birth x number of times and still have the metabolism of an 18 year old. Or 30 year old. Or 40 year old.

“That looks good,” said a helpful voice where I was trying on a few dresses last week.

“I liked the last one better,” said another.

I swiveled my head. “Which last one?”

“The navy.”

Oh yes, they’re out there. One mother explained the wedding of her son was going to be casual.

“I’ve waited all these years and – casual. What am I supposed to wear?”

I shook my head sympathetically.

I was flipping through a rack at another store and looked up to someone inquiring, “Mother of the bride?”

I nodded. “I’m exhausted.”

The daughter pointed to her mother and nodded back. The mother wore sweat pants, had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and looked like she was badly in need of a long nap.

And online? Are you kidding me? First of all, who knows how something will fit; probably not like it does on the dear soul in the picture. Secondly, how do you even know if the site is legit or is a trap set for desperate women of a certain age? Thirdly, two words: shipping fees. Make that five words: return shipping fees.

Let me tell you about online shopping. If you type in the search word ‘dress – mother of the bride’ (mob, for short – I won’t take the bait, no I won’t), you will see either dresses with the obligatory jacket or low cut gowns that look like they just got back from the Oscars. When you’re at a point where cleavage is actually a thing, low cut isn’t as exciting as you might imagine. I appreciate the jacket idea. After all, sleeves are nice for someone (I’m sorry to say it, but that includes nearly all of us) whose arms resemble a chicken’s wattle. Some of the designers seem to know this; others haven’t a clue, or run with a crowd that spends time every day at the gym, or are under the illusion that the customer really does look like the 20 year old model.

I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think Melania will be available for wardrobe consultations any time soon. You’re stuck with me. Here’s some of what I’ve learned along with a little advice. Take it or leave it:

1. Go to some stores and try things on even if they’re not what you want. You can get an idea of how a designer (*I use the term loosely – in my world JC Penney is a designer) sizes things. You’ll also get an idea of what you prefer.
2. You will learn to speak designer whether you want to or not. Not Dolce and Gabbana, mind you, but you will find out who the usuals are. Addrianna Papell’s dresses (who, according to Martha Stewart are the holy grail of bridal party wear) feel heavier (sequins and beads will do that) than Komarov. I loved the Komarov I tried on. It was lightweight and looked washable and like what a normal person might wear. Until I saw the price tag. Alex Evenings claims to offer the perfect fit for real shapes with materials that stretch. Gee, I wonder who they’re talking to.
3. Take a look around discount and consignment stores, including Ebay. Pat yourself on the back for trying to save money.
4. Look online for the designers * you like, and find something that’s actually closer to what you want than what the stores had.
5. Do not order it.
6. Type in the search word ‘evening gown’.
7.  You’ll find something that might more closely resemble what you were looking for in the first place, won’t be one of the few mob patterns offered in a variety of colors, and it will cost less.
8. Go ahead and eat the cookie. No one’s going to be looking at you anyway.

None of us is given the choice of the time in which we live. We might, depending on our mobility, decide which province or state or neighborhood to live in. Some of us, with enough freedom and cash, are even able to determine in which country we reside. But time? No amount of money, mobility, determination, or hard work can change the time in which we live.

The people who lived during the time of the Pharaohs or the Babylonian Empire might have been quite pleased or distraught to be living during those times, depending on who they were. Or what about the Medieval Period? Do you think those folks who lived during the time of castles and conquerors and feudalism were thrilled or disgusted to be living then?

I wonder what conversations were like around the dinner table during the French Revolution, a relatively few years following conversations around dinner tables during the American Revolution which followed the conversations around dinner tables during the Age of Enlightenment?

Perhaps the early settlers were happy to be breaking their backs digging and hefting huge rocks from the land because it allowed them to own it. Perhaps they were glad for the tiny cabins they built with their own hands. Perhaps the howling of wolves at night was a sweet lullaby. Perhaps not.

The folks who lived during the Great Depression might have been happy and content because they lived with a family that, despite deprivation, was sound and solid. Or maybe the hobos who wandered from town to town were glad for the freedom such a life afforded. Or maybe the soldiers of WWII were satisfied in the knowledge of fighting evil, of making every effort to prevent its spread.

Or maybe all of these people found good mixed with heartache. Because that is what life offers every single person. Every. Single. One.

Now we are living in our time. Some say it’s the end times. Others disagree. Whatever it is, it is a time of immediate information which, false or true, can spread as quickly and as heatedly as a California wildfire. We live in a time when we have a better idea than, for instance, the Medieval Period, of what is going on in other countries. Not the clearest idea, mind you; but more.

In our time we are tasked with the challenge of figuring out – from the plethora of information that comes at us like a freight train on a desperate mission – which information to believe and which information to discard. Not only that, we are tasked with which information to share, which personal opinion, which reproof, and which encouragement. Who we choose to listen to infuses our belief system. What we choose to believe – for there’s no mistaking it is a choice – determines our thoughts and our actions.

On Judgement Day we will not be given a pass because life was tough or confusing or unfair. Sure, Jesus will stand beside those He saves, but we will still need to own up to our own life’s decisions. Despite some arrogant points of view, I don’t think we are any better than anyone who lived in other times. I shudder when I think that maybe we are worse. And just maybe – if time itself is winding down – we have an extra responsibility to be faithful. Whether it’s done with scrappiness or desperation or bravery or poise, we work, for the night is coming. So here’s my unsought opinion.

No matter what century or decade we live in, we are responsible for dealing the hand that’s dealt us. No matter which era, each person has a lifetime, long or short, to do the right thing. Pray for insight. Pray for wisdom. And in order to do that – to pray – we need to turn off the ceaseless voices of “information” and go to the One who actually knows what’s going on. We need to ask Him what to think and whose voice to trust. We need to read His Word and pray always because without those two disciplines all hope is lost for any sort of clarity. I suspect those who’ve gone before us did the same.

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Today’s guest post is by G.H. Cachiaras. He was for many years a college professor and the Dean of Minnesota Bible College whose building stood proud and strong across from the University of Minnesota. He was my grandpa. Most of all, he was a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. At this time of graduation from high schools and colleges, I thought it appropriate to share some of his words. The text he used is Hebrews 11:24-25. Read the following, if you like, with the sound of his Greek accent underneath his words. The post will be serialized throughout the month of May.

*Blogger’s note: You might be offended by some of what is said. If so, it is because you are offended by the viewpoint of those now passed through history, but whose perspective is every bit as valid as the ones held today. God help us when we are judged by those who come after us.

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Fourth, we will elect to SET OUR TASKS TO MUSIC. By music in life, I mean harmony. How fine and exquisite it is to see a life set to music, happy, contented, at peace with God and man! One of the greatest statements I have heard in a lifetime is that of Dr. Wm. S. Sadler: “No happy man ever has a breakdown in health”. Irrespective of our outward conditions and circumstances, we can elect to be contented, happy, and at harmony with God and man. And without that peace and harmony, we can never be happy, nor will our health hod up under the stress and strain. Even Paul and Silas in prison set their task to music.

Fifth, elect to MAINTAIN YOUR INDIVIDUALITY in the crowd. There is a strange tendency in every generation to “Join the Crowd”; to do “In Rome as Rome Does”, to “join the gang”, and do things that in our own mind we question, but we feel we must do them because everybody else does it.

The strong young man, the one who goes farthest and the one who makes a real contribution to human society is the one who will maintain his own personality, his own individuality irrespective of what the crowd does. One professor cannot copy another’s actions in the classroom. It wouldn’t fit! Is the child in kindergarten crying with true reason or because all the other children are?

Sixth, elect to become a CRUSADER FOR RIGHT LIVING AND FOR CHRISTENDOM. All of our best thinkers are agreed on this one thing today – that our living standards are lowered; that, in many respects, America has lowered her standards to those of ancient pagan nations. America is today at the crossroads. She will either have young men and young women who, of their own free will and volition, elect RIGHT LIVING and high standards, and the ideals of the Carpenter of Nazareth, or we face the prospect of going the way of Pagan Rome.

What nobler sight is there that the mind of man can conceive than the mental picture of the young Crusaders of the Middle Ages who, as they went forth to rescue Jerusalem from the hands of the Saracens, sang “God wills it; God wills it!”

And what nobler sight is there for tens of thousands of young Americans (or Canadians) as they face the future, than to see these youth elect high and noble ideals, choose character above riches, elect to set their tasks to music, to maintain their own individuality, and determine to be a Crusader for Right Living and for the ideals of Christendom, singing as they go forth along the great highway of life, “God wills it; God wills it!”

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Today’s guest post is by G.H. Cachiaras. He was for many years a college professor and the Dean of Minnesota Bible College whose building stood proud and strong across from the University of Minnesota. He was my grandpa. Most importantly, he was a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. At this time of graduation from high schools and colleges, I thought it appropriate to share some of his words. The text he used is Hebrews 11:24-25. Read the following, if you like, with the sound of his Greek accent underneath his words. The post will be serialized throughout the month of May.

*Blogger’s note: You might be offended by some of what is said. If so, it is because you are offended by the viewpoint of those now passed through history, but whose perspective is every bit as valid as the ones held today.

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What are the electives of our lives today?

First, we will elect worthwhile IDEALS. Consider the ideals of two men: Al Capone and Robert M. Hutchins. Both men lived in the same city; but one had high ideals and the other, low. If you ask me, one of the weakest things about America today is lowered ideals. I have seen the day when no young woman would dare enter a saloon. Today one of the most painful things that can tear at my heart is the sight of a woman standing at a bar, drinking beer and whiskey like any drunken sot.

Second, we will elect for ourselves the development of a FINE NOBLE CHARACTER. Character is something that cannot be purchased for a price. Character is something that cannot be inherited from father or mother. It cannot be bequeathed to a son or daughter. It is something that must be elected, chosen, developed, grown, like a sturdy oak tree.

Third, we will elect to pay OUR DEBTS TO HUMAN SOCIETY. We are what we are today as the result of heritage. You have a written language as the result of heritage. You have countless inventions and conveniences and privileges, as well as human liberty, and a land where one may start at the bottom and the poorest of the poor, and go to the top – if he so elects as a result of a great price.

These things have not come by the wave of some man’s magic wand, but they have come from suffering, hardships, labor of both body and brain of countless ones in bygone generations. We have inherited these privileges and opportunities. After we have passed on, human society will either be richer or poorer because we have lived. But as for us, may we elect to pay our debt to society by making the world richer than it was when we came upon the stage of life?

to be continued . . .

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Today’s guest post is by G.H. Cachiaras. He was for many years the Dean of Minnesota Bible College whose building stood proud and strong across from the University of Minnesota, as well as a college professor. He was my grandpa. Most importantly, he was a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. At this time of graduation from high schools and colleges, I thought it appropriate to share some of his words. The text he used is Hebrews 11:24-25. Read the following, if you like, with the sound of his Greek accent underneath his words. The post will be serialized throughout the month of May.

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For 25 years and longer, I have tried to be a close observer of people, especially young people. I have liked to watch their faces, their personalities, their modulation of voice, their manner of expression, their reaction to things.

And I have enjoyed watching young people especially at Commencement time. And always as I have looked into their faces, there has come to my mind this question: “Which of these young people will succeed and which of them will fail?”

I have had thus far two outstanding surprises: First, the ones I have thought would go far in their work, often have made of most dismal failures. And second, the ones I have thought would fail outright or be very mediocre have attained outstanding success.

Not once, but again, again, and yet again, I have sought to find a clear answer for the failure of some young people and the amazing success of others. What is there that makes some young people a glorious success and what is there that causes others to fail?

We cannot answer this question by saying, “They had the right pull”. We cannot answer by the word “Environment”. We cannot answer it with “Home surroundings”. We cannot answer it by saying, “The quality of their teachers” for often in the same class, under the same teachers, one will succeed and the other fail.

No, none of these answers are correct in entirety. We must search further and deeper if we are to arrive at a clear, truthful answer to that question. What, then, is the answer, the right answer, to that perplexing and ever-present question, “Why do some young people succeed and others fail”?

I believe the true answer lies within each person, and not without (in outward surroundings, environment, etc.), but within one’s own mind, heart and soul.

That something that we call “Power of Choice”, “Power of Volition”, “The ability to accept or reject” – call it what you will, that something which elects or chooses, is the one determining force that makes or unmakes us, causes us to climb high on the ladder of success, or pitches us down into the dismal swamps of failure.

In High School and College, there are certain required courses. We must take these whether we like them or dislike them – we must take them. On the other hand, there are certain elective courses. We may take them or act as we choose. We call them “The Electives”.

In the University of Life, the electives are the things that make or ruin us. For after all has been said, the last word spoken or written, thought and the power of choice, our “Electives” make us. We build our future thought by thought.

Moses, the young ruler in Egypt, selected to suffer hardships with his own people – slaves, rather than enjoy the riches of Egypt when it meant slavery and rejection of his own people. Because Moses elected the hard thing, the thing that meant pain and suffering for humanity, in all ensuing generations he has been called one of the immortals of history.

Peter chose – elected – to go back to Rome and fight it out with paganism. Had he chosen the easier way, we may never have heard of him, but because he elected to go back to Rome, face the fires of persecution, do the hard but noble and right thing, all men, irrespective of color, will vote Simon Peter one of the really great characters of the first century of the Christian era.

What are the electives of our lives today?

to be continued . . .

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